I have the best mate. The most understanding. Importantly, the most loving despite everything. Liking me more than I can give. We had lose some and gain some all along the way. Accepting the flaws and embracing the goods together.

Lonely walk

I run with all my might. But I keep losing my breath. Pick myself up, and fall down many times. It does hurt. When sometimes i feel alone. In the midst of crowd. Maybe it just me. Easily give up. Lonely used to freak me out. But times tell me to embrace it. Keep pushing me forward but i have lost word encouraging myself. Cus i myself is a mess. holding up. why everything is so heavy? -used to feel this way-

Test

I just realise, I have blog. Lol Luckily enough, I dont use any rempit slangs to describe my emotion. Even the english is so-so. Teehee. Back then, I was the saddest person. I stumble upon few of the post from my diff blogs. With S alright. How emotionally I can be while writing. Reading it, i realised that moment, my emotion, like a storm. How sensitive i was. With no one to tell to. Nevertheless, that was difficult time for me. Sometimes, i wonder, what was happening, up to a point. I wrote that. Rading it, make me feel, abit. Sad. Because, i remember those emotion. and flashing back all the emotion, was much more sadder. Maybe i was secretive in person. Soon, the hatred is lifted, the hardest become easier. I am happy now, with no regrets inside me.

Mri

Jom crita.

Td bru balik dr sdmc.
Siyes.
Kluar rumah pkl 6.30 balik pkl 1.30.
Penat nak mampus kut.

So far.
No meniscus tear.
Still intact.
Alhamdulillah.

Adeh.
Aku da gelak sorg2.
Dr hafiz tu.. Main2 lg dgn aku. Loya habis.
Kan da salah diagnose.

Tp still aku bsyukur.
Yey.

But ada strain dkt ligament blkg.
Strain kan eja?
Aku pn xthu.

So. Dpt cuti 3 mggu.
Tolak 2 mggu cuti dents.
So smggu je la.
Kre xla ketgglan sgt.
Cuma xdpt join roleplay dgn dancing. :(
Itu la bnd yg aku tggu.
Hais.

But then. Aku depenuhi dgn tuntutan fisio.
Sbb nk kuatkn knee muscle.
But. Klau x elok gak.
Kne tukaq ligament len.
Gile?

Takpa la.
Buat je btul2.
Aku pn rse hdup bchya skrg.

Mungkin slow down kn aktiviti je la.

Kematangan

Nak kata prob yg aku dpt.
Nobody is perfect dear.
Everyone got their own struggle.

And my life..
Maybe im not lucky enough.

Tapi..
Bnd2 cmni.
Aku xthu la.
Buat aku lebih tabah?
Atau keras hati?
Atau simply forgiving.
Dan lebih berlembut.
Murung. Kdg2. Tp. Aku bersyukur.
Menguji kematangan aku.

Glad.
Aku ada kwn.
Yg mmpu mdgr masalah bebelan harian.

*gaya cerita mcm kaki ngadu je erk*
Trust me. Im not actly.
Im just trying to appreciate frens. Sometimes. I prefer to be alone. To think. Alone.

Ok.

Oh another reasons why i love them. Funny.
Superb. The jokes. Mahal oo. And. *mischievious smile*
Dont judge me based on my fb. Really.

You may get annoyed when you know me better.
Or simply you will like me. Even more. No worries. Ppl like me. Sometimes. Lol.

Oh speaking bout this.

Sometimes, i dont get the whole point when ppl just burst their anger dpan org?
Dont make others life hard.
Bnd simple en.

Jgn gunakan bakat dlm berkata untk mncari kesalahan org.

Aku igt kata2 kwn aku.
Ckup terkesan.
"klau nk menegur seseorg. Bukan dgn niat menjatuhkn maruah."
Means. Jgn marah dpn org rmai.
Shouting for instance.
Dah tkena.
Nk kata knl. Borak pn jarang.
Haih.

Sbb mgkin aku masih kecik hti.
Muka blur2 aku pon ada prasan woii.
Aku cuma xlafazkn dr segi riak muka.
Tp hti aku pn bkata2.
Bengkak mata aku tau pk.
Hehe.
Mengutuk gak ye aku.

Mesti eliza gelakkn aku baca part last ni.
Dia saluuu nshtkn.
Ada la kn dia ckp..

Agaknya aku soft sgt kot.
Tu org gunakn aku.
Haaaih.

Gila aku.

Fb

Delete jap.
I need a space.
Pft.
Poyo.
Dah bejuta kali da aku delete.
Sat nnt on balik.

Semata-mata.
Aku.
Xde kja.

Knee injury

Okay.
Aku betul2 xda kerja kan?

Tadi pergi sime darby.
Nak check lutut.
Dkt dr anuar.
Oh gosh. Orthos mmg funny ke? Back then in kuantan, my ortho dr hafiz is a funny guy also.

The exact same question tht i received frm both of them.

Aik, buat la braces. 8 ribu ada x?

Aku rasa adoi. Aku tgh sakit ni. But i just smile and wink.

Dlm hti, tu la. Dlu mama offer. Aku bajet alim. Haram itu ini. Ustazah xksi. Akk aku smua pkai. Ye la. Denti aku kata. Gigi senget keturunan. Rahang kecik.

Tp aku rse sbb aku tkut cbut gigi. Tu blapis tu.

Amik kau. Nsb baik Allah tu baik, bg msuk denti. Suruh pkai yg free.

Basically, there's a clicking sound dkt my knee.
So to further clarify, ive done the MRI.
Penat sgt hrini.
Result hri isnin.

Dia mendefinisikan apa yg aku alami dlm bahasa mudah nya spt seseorg yg kne tumbuk dgn kuat. So. Might have blood clot. Atau lebam.
Basically. I have 3 diff views from 3 docs.
My first doc, datuk aru said ive got ligament tear.
My second one, dr hafiz said ive got meniscus tear. Dkt dua tempat. Lateral and medial.
But i think my third doc gv basically the same point but in a funny way. Cuma dia xckp meniscus. Dia nk tgk mri dlu.

Xapalah.
Aku dah lama redha.
Aku thu aku kne stop dah sports ni.
Aku xla stop.
Jog je la. Xpayah dah nk lari jauh sgt.
Tp bila dah lama xsport, rmai sgt ckp : fain, chubby ye skrg?
And i was like. Obvious ke?
My aunty also said, awk tu muda la. Cuba control skit mkn.

Ye la. Aku brda dklgn akk2 yg jaga bdan.

So. Cuti ni.
Nk jaga health.
Kuruskn badan.
Ahaks.